CALL ME SNAKE

Last month (11/21/06), here in these very pages, I wrote about the guy in Jamaica Plain (a part of Boston, in case you're not from around heah) who strung up 250,000 Christmas tree lights on his castle-like abode. Tonight, being Christmas night, I checked it out first hand with my family. I have to admit, it is quite a spectacle. I didn't count the lights, but there's one heck of a lot of firepower coming out of that house, like a little bit of Las Vegas in an otherwise quiet residential neighborhood. A friend of mine (a JPite) said it's probably visible from space. Maybe this will be the tipoff the ET's need to finally find us (sorry about the split infinitive, but as you can see I am getting carried away).

If you missed the light show this year, don't worry. The homeowner, Dominic Luberto, is planning to string up 500,000 lights next year. It's only a matter of time, I figure, before he hits a million points of light, thereby putting the first President George Bush's measly "thousand points of light" to shame. (The man clearly lacked "the vision thing.") At that point, we can kiss optical astronomy goodbye, expect, perhaps, on the far side of the moon. which is why the second President George Bush is trying to get us back on the moon--the same moon that John F. Kennedy (a Democrat) got us too first, the same moon whose dark side Pink Floyd sang about so movingly. By then--i.e., the millionth bulb--the ET's will have surely found us, for better or worse, and we'll find out what the expression, "To Serve Man," is all about.

I hope I have not been too digressive here. My main point, in case it got lost in the parentheticals, is this: Keep up the good work, Mr. Luberto. I support everything you're doing to support global warming, just so long as you don't stick me with the electric bill. (A friend of mine named Al, who's made a bundle on global warming, will gladly pay it.)