CALL ME SNAKE

I’ve gone for nearly five days without mentioning a certain football team by name. My doctor considers it significant progress, urging me to “keep up the good work.” I appreciate the encouragement though I find the sentiment a bit trite. He means well, I’m sure. Not a bad guy, even though he plays his cards pretty close to the vest. Or is it chest? And vest or chest, what exactly does that mean? Personally, I’m glad to be on the road to “wellness.” There is a void in my life that is hard to fill but that, everyone tells me, must come from within, not from without. I’ve relinquished control of the remote control and my hand feels naked, aimless, devoid of a clear purpose. It, too, must find something to do with itself. Perhaps I shall take up piano again. I’ve let that go, but Hanon’s keyboard exercises are always a wonderful tonic. Or maybe piano isn’t the thing at all. Maybe what I really ought to do is get out of the house. It’s not easy–and that may be the only thing on which I agree with our current president–but the off-season was never supposed to be easy, was it? Basketball’s not what it used to be. That’s certainly true for Celtics’ fans. Still I think I can speak for the league in general on this point, including David Stern in a candid moment–say if he thought the microphone was off and no one was listening (a’ la “we’ll start the bombing in five minutes”). The hockey season may be permanently on ice. (I admit I never used to watch hockey games, but I resent the fact that I now don’t even have the choice.) And spring training is still two months away. “W,” for the first time in your life, you are right: It’s not easy. Yet in that realization, I hope, may lie the kernel of renewal and personal growth. People have expressed concern in various ways, sometimes in the form of seemingly hostile blog comments, sometimes in the form of spam or telephone solicitations. I just want to let them–and all the other well-wishers–know that I’ve turned the corner and am on the road back. My only question now is: Back to what?