Friday, March 18, 2005

DESPERATE HOUSEHUSBANDS ————– by Steve Nadis

The hit TV show, “Desperate Housewives,” has been off the air for a few weeks–a “creative hiatus,” they call it in the business–and security on and around the set is at the highest level of alert (code “black and blue,” I believe), lest news of the latest infidelity, backstabbing, catfight, and failed attempt at vehicular homicide is leaked to an insatiable public. I personally never watch the show (do you know anyone who admits watching it?), but am impressed with the security and honestly think the production staff should consider taking over the Department of Homeland Security which is, by all accounts, a complete, unmitigated disaster.

But back to the show I never watch: Yes, ABC has a hit on its hands. But there’s a far better story waiting to be told. It’s called “Desperate Househusbands.” I don’t need to write the script because I live it every day. The desperation comes from having a job that nobody respects–not your neighbors, your wife, your kids, your pets, not even yourself. There are tales I could tell you, truly horrific stuff, that would make the antics of Wisteria Lane seem like the innocuous fluff that it is. But I won’t tell you now when you can see it for yourself next year as part of ABC’s new “Desperate” franchise–one show each night of the week devoted to a different class of desperate characters. I’m working on all six pilots, as we speak. Without revealing much, I can tell you Thoreau was correct in saying “the mass of houseplants lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Posted by Snake in 04:10:04
Comments

5 Responses

  1. Lindsey says:
    March 18, 2005 at 4:13 am

    This strikes me as somewhat of a comeback.

  2. gatemouth says:
    March 18, 2005 at 2:59 pm

    I hope you‘re not going to overlook the housemartens. "Desperate House-Martens" would really kick up the ratings in the U.K. (Not to mention give the pet-shop industry a much needed boost.)

  3. Snake says:
    March 18, 2005 at 3:19 pm

    Thanks for the the suggestion; this certainly bears looking into. I, for one, had no idea martens were such a big deal across the Atlantic. It just shows how LITTLE I do know.

  4. mongoose says:
    March 18, 2005 at 4:56 pm

    Snake,

    perhaps you should contribute to HBO‘s future as well, now that Kristin Parke what‘s her name is back "on contract" but unable to birth the creative sequel to Sex&The City….you do seem like the man to point the direction, so to speak! Some of the checks to come your way…just think!

    M (a.k.a "N")

  5. Snake says:
    March 18, 2005 at 5:51 pm

    You‘d better talk to my agent. And by the way, do snakes eat mongooses, or is it the other way around? That‘s something I‘d like to pin down before we go into business together.

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