CALL ME SNAKE

I was showing a friend something on my computer the other day (which is something I rarely do, because I am not a nerd) when he said: “I haven’t Googled myself lately. I’d better take a look.” I suppose most people have done that at some time or another, and I must confess that I have as well. Beyond the usual stuff you expect to see — the outstanding warrants, the threatening notices from the IRS, the “Deadbeat Dad” alerts, and the like–there are also the unexpected delights that keep us coming back. The last time I “Googlesized” myself–by which I mean to count (in base 10) the total number of listings under my various names and pseudonyms (2,600 in total, of which only 630 were deemed “most relevant”)–I found myself associated with all sorts of odd items such as: Atheist Quotes (I don’t believe in atheism), the Atkins South Beach Diet (never diet), the Australian Home Education Website (don’t put much stock in “home schooling”), Frightening Facts About Cars (don’t drive), Complexity Digest (I’m remarkably noncomplex), Gale Encyclopedia of Psychology: Delusion/Delusional Disorders (not applicable), A Field Guide to Alien Contact (a clear case of mistaken identity), and Computational Origami at MIT (never tried though it sounds like a real kick in the pants). I was even lambasted on some website called “Everything Isn’t Under Control” by some unnamed blogger who said: “Hey Steve Nadis, try having a good conversation on the stairmaster and get back to us.” Well, as a matter of fact, I’m going to the gym right now, and I’ll be sure to do that. Were it not for Self-Googling (that’s not dirty, even though it sounds like it might be), it would never have occurred to me.