CALL ME SNAKE

In keeping with our new content-upgrade policy (currently in beta testing), we have vowed to deliver only the news you absolutely need to read. Hence this briefing will be shorter than usual–an attempt to produce the “sound bites” that you, “the public,” have consistently clamored for. So without further ado, or additional hemming and hawing, or back-scratching or belly-aching, let’s get on with the news of the day, the news of note, the “essential news for a 25/8 society.” (What can I say? Life is so hectic for me that the old 24/7 just isn’t enough.) Something happened in Rome recently, but accounts are sketchy (mysterious doings, cloaked in secrecy, strange wardrobes, mystical incantations possibly of Latinate tongue…), so let’s leave that for now. (When you get right down to it, how important could it be?) The news out of Washington is equally vague. New York quiet, California as well. As for the Great Midland, little of great import has occurred there in many a year. And, from what I gather, most folks would like to keep it that way. Which is fine with me. You’ve just written yourself out of our next News Briefing. If you leave us alone, and promise not to blow up any public buildings or sneak off with any livestock, we’ll leave you alone. And that concludes this Important News Briefing. Any questions? NONE? NOT A ONE? Well that’s just fine. My response would have been “no comment” anyway.