SUSPENDED AGAIN! by Steve Nadis
New WebRing mail almost always contain bad news, and today was no exception. “Your site in the Funny Humor Writing WebRing has been suspended,” read the latest note. Then, to drive the point home, in case I was not only unfunny but thick, it repeated: “The RingMaestra of the ‘Funny Humor Writing WebRing’ has suspended your site.” But I get the point and am now starting to worry about whether critics like Burt–who I’ve dismissed as a bunch of malcontent wannabes who wouldn’t know funny if it reached up and bit them in the heinie (hey that’s a good one; have to use it sometime!)–might be onto something after all. My membership in the “Moderately Amusing WebRing” is still intact and, for now, I hope to keep things at least at that level. If I can’t continue to meet that lofty standard, the “Not Funny Humor Writing WebRing” awaits me. I’m sure Burt will be happy to write me a strong recommendation. Any other volunteers?
Posted by
at
15:38:44
I’ll leave the Snake-bashing to Burt. But let me point out that any web ring that calls itself humorous but can’t manage to send you a funny pinkslip is obviously not worth belong to. I can list at least 3 different ways they could have canned your site and given you a good laugh in the process.
Example 1: "Dear Snake, We would really love to keep you in our groovy WebRing, but after reading your blog, we realized you weren’t INTENDING to be funny. If you’d read our Articles of Incorporation, you’d know that Section 12, paragraph 41 explicitly states that all humor on participating blogs must be intentionally humorous. Sorry. Good luck with that little problem of yours. Sincerely…"
Example 2: "Dear Snake, When we first we met so many years ago on the River RingWeb, with Volga Boatmen singing in background, you promise always to keep the laughing, dah? But now there is no laughing. The sex is good–dah. You are still handsome American devil. But I cannot live without the laughing. Please to lay your pretty webhead on train-tracks now, just like Ana Karenina, and sever from WebRing. Goodbye, my little zaichiki…"
Example 3: "To Whom It May Concern–the Department of Homeland Security had determined that your blog does not conform to current Homeland Humor Security requirements. Specifically, it has failed three weeks in a row to elicit a chuckle from either Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice or Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. We have downgraded your site to Level 5 — Unfunny, and request that you disconnect from the Humor Webring at once. Failure to comply will result in incarceration at Guantanamo Bay, where large, burly, humorless guards will flush your blog down the toilet and repeatedly call you ‘girly man’…"
See? If they can’t do that, they don’t deserve to call themselves the Funny Humor Writing Webring. And they don’t deserve you.
Thank you, gatemouth. I’m feeling better already. You’re right. Who needs ‘em? And when you get right down to it, there’s something awfully funny about “funny humor,” if you ask me. I prefer my humor served the way I take my gruel–lukewarm.
Perhaps you should join the "Creative Spellers Webring." In the words of the inimitable Weird Al Yankovic:
So don’t be vain and don’t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie
Or maybe you could join the "Tormented by Nitpickers Webring."
Yes, I see. There’s a big world out there, and I’m glad you helped open my eyes to all the dazzling possibilities.
i cant understand……