I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP! by Steve Nadis
Yesterday, while working on a treatise about flying squirrels, I needed more information about their wing tips and did the obvious thing–typed in “flying squirrels” and “wing tips” on Google. I checked out many of the results, one of which led me to a porno site featuring “big natural breasts.” That was a shocker that pretty much killed my whole workday. I mean how can a fellow–who’s just minding his own business, not looking for any trouble–concentrate on the subtleties of gliding biomechanics with all those giant breasts popping up all over the place? I’ve been traumatized ever since and things have gotten so bad, I’ve contemplated looking for another search engine. Does anyone have any advice? Perhaps I’ll ask my friend Jeeves, who’s always helpful in matters like these.
Posted by
at
15:20:59
Snake–I’m detecting an alarming patter(n) here. First, lustful thoughts in the grocery store. Now, lustful thoughts while Googling. (Or would that be Oogling?) Not to mention lustful thoughts while flying squirrel researching. (And believe me, I am trying very hard not to go down the "flying squirrel/questionable humor" road.)
Do you, by any chance, have kids? Because if you do, I think it’s time for you and the wife (or significant other) to get a babysitter and a hotel room, in that order. If you do not have kids (or a significant other), I think it’s time for you to turn the computer off and go take dance lessons or join a rock-climbing club or whatever people do these days to find partners of one variety or another.
Just a thought. (And not a lustful one, on my part. That will come later, when I do my owl research. Can you Google "hooters"? Sure you can.)
All good advice, Gatemouth. Ballroom dancing lessons may be just the ticket for the wife and me, while the kids watch hours of "educational" TV with their babysitter/designated channel changer.
I agree with Gatemouth that this blog is headed down a dangerous path. It never seemed "sexist" to me before, but if you continue to write about "big natural breasts," that will be the most charitable way of describing it.
You’re right Lindsey, and I promise not to take us all down the road to perdition. In my defense I’d like to say this: I didn’t create the above situation. I just reported the facts.
Yes Snake, please quit all this talk about big natural breasts! And please don’t start talking about creamy colored thighs either! Or how the sweet smooth curve of a naked back leads to….um…..er…..what the hell was talking about again?
Thanks, everyone, for your more-than-helpful comments. All this talk will soon cease, and I’ll go back to writing about volleyball like I’m supposed to.
Hi Steve. The Jeeves team here. We spotted your post through Bloglines and wanted to make sure you followed through and did the searches on our site. Make sure you check out the related searches on the right side of the page, which will help you narrow or expand your search. They are especially cool for "flying squirrels".
http://web.ask.com/web?q=%22flying+squirrels%22&qsrc=145&o=0
Hey "Jeeves team" — Just to let you know, I did the search you suggested & was impressed with the "narrow your search" and "expand your search" features, which I was not aware of before. I’ll definitely keep that in mind for future searches of which there’ll be many, I’m sure…
Sweet. Let us know how it goes.
Just like that–you post an entry in your tremendously insightful but (let’s face it) less than nationally known blog, and Jeeves answers?
This is spooky. I always knew Big Brother was watching me. And I’m pretty sure the NSA has a computer dedicated to watching my emails. But now I have to worry about Big Jeeves? I guess I better stop doing those "creamy thighed babes in burkas" searches…
Hi Gatemouth — I was thinking it was cool that Jeeves answered my question before I asked it. I didn’t see anything sinister about that. Maybe it’s the "depression" talking…
i love your blog, will keep looking you blog every day.