CALL ME SNAKE

If you believe People Magazine (and I only know about this because I still have AOL for another two weeks before they cut me off for good), Jude Law still has some explaining and, more importantly, apologizing to do. I said before that Jude could set things right with his fiance through the use of a single word: “Sorry.” But if the People story is right–and when have they ever been anything less than truthful?–he might have to use that single word quite a few times or, better yet, incorporate it into a complex sentence as in: “Sorry I had an alleged affair with the exotic dancer in Chicago, who is OK as exotic dancers go but otherwise full of crap.” Or: “Sorry people (or rather People) are suggesting my ex-wife and I engaged in wife-swapping–a patent falsehood that I haven’t yet tried, though it sounds like it might be fun if things ever get dull around here, which, of course, they never will–not with you, Sweetie!” He’s free to use these lines if he wishes, and I’m happy to suggest other surefire lines as well. I’ll even throw in an original, “can’t miss,” blogger bumper sticker line or two for him to try out, as I seem to have an inexhaustible supply of those. But that’s the subject of another post, so I’m going to sign off here and end with a preemptive “sorry” to cover any lapses I might have between now and our next chat.