Friday, September 2, 2005

I’VE BEEN GOOGLED — by Steve Nadis

One of our readers, a creditable blogger in his own right, confessed to having Googled me yesterday. He said I should feel free to Google him as well and that I shouldn’t worry, he’s not the “Christian ventriloquist” (sounds intriguing). That got me curious: What would someone (like him, for example) see if he or she were to Google me. First off, I was suprised to learn that I got more than 4,600 results under my name including a few variants with or without my middle initial, etc. This was up more than 2,000 from the total in March, though why it is up surprises me. There is no good reason and if there is no good reason, there is probably a bad reason. Though I can’t for the life of me imagine what it was. (I have no secrets; my life is an open book, save for a few padlocked doors, safe deposit boxes, and the occasional vault.)

Like many people, I suspect, I can’t resist checking out some of the odd listings that come up under my name. I don’t mind, for example, when a University of Arizona professor puts an article I wrote (“Poetry for Chemists”) on his syllabus for English 102, especially when my name appears alongside Walt Whitman, E.E. Cummings, and Vladimir Nabakov. (All I can say to that professor is: What on Earth were you thinking?)

For me, the biggest shocker in my latest act of self-Google (a short step, I might add, from self abuse) came when another article I wrote, “Cosmic Speed Trap,” which concerns plans for catching ultrahigh-energy cosmic rays, ended up in the Grade 10 Reading Section of the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test, right after an essay by Russell Baker. I’m not a big fan of standardized tests, though I’m flattered Russell Baker and I were the only ones to make the cut, and I’d hate to see the academic dreams of some kids dashed because I failed to adequately explain what happens when an energetic proton, traveling at virtually the speed of light, slams into our atmosphere. To any readers who fall into this hapless category, please accept my heartfelt apologies. I’m sorry there’s no much I can do about it. In fact, I never would have known about any of this had not the aforementioned reader contacted me and set me wandering down that Vanity Road otherwise known as Google.

Posted by Snake at 05:36:52
Comments

11 Responses to “I’VE BEEN GOOGLED — by Steve Nadis”

  1. Burt says:
    September 2, 2005 at 4:42 am

    Self-googling is immoral, apart from the fact that it will rot your mind.

  2. Lindsey says:
    September 2, 2005 at 4:43 am

    Now Burt, why do you have to go around spreading rumors like that?

  3. DrMax says:
    September 2, 2005 at 4:56 am

    Snake, you best keep this under your hat. I have a feeling a lot of people stuck working at drive-thru windows would like to get their hands on you.

  4. Snake says:
    September 2, 2005 at 11:43 am

    I guess that’s OK so long as they’re not intent on strangling me, which is, I’m afraid, an all-too-common response.

  5. Lindsey says:
    September 2, 2005 at 11:53 am

    All right, I admit it. Once, when I was in a very low point, I Googled myself. But thankfully I’ve pulled my life together since then.

  6. Snake says:
    September 2, 2005 at 11:54 am

    Thank you Lindsey. That is truly an inspirational tale.

  7. Lindsey says:
    September 3, 2005 at 1:49 am

    I thought about Googling myself tonight but resisted the urge.

  8. Snake says:
    September 3, 2005 at 1:51 am

    Good for you Lindsey. You’re a tribute to your, uh,… Well let’s just say you’re a tribute. Can I say that?

  9. Lindsey says:
    September 3, 2005 at 2:10 am

    Thanks, I’ve always wanted to be a tribute.

  10. OldRoses says:
    September 3, 2005 at 5:15 am

    I never self-Google. My eyesight is bad enough already.

  11. Snake says:
    September 3, 2005 at 12:43 pm

    Good for you, Roses. You’re a tribute as well.

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