AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE PEOPLE WHO BRING YOU THE MONTHLY BLOGGING BUMPER STICKER SWEEPSTAKES — by Steve Nadis
As we speak (are we “speaking,” or are am I just “talking” again, as usual?), the judges are poring over the many fine entries we’ve received to date for this month’s Octoberfest Blogging Bumper Sticker Sweepstakes (see October 1 post for important guidelines). Many outstanding entries have already been submitted, including numerous gems from yours truly (who invariably tends to win one prize or another, if not several). Nevertheless, we still haven’t heard from many of you, including a perennial winner in the name of one Gatemouth Brown, who may or may not the recently deceased musical genius of the same name. In any case, we’re reaching out to you Gatemouth–call it an “intervention,” a gentle tug from the lure of the TV screen–and to others who are thinking of entering but haven’t made the time or are ashamed of their entries and worried they’re just not “up to snuff.” Please don’t hold back. We’ve seen a lot of real stinkers over the months, let me tell you, and I promise not to laugh or otherwise humiliate you in public (unless absolutely necessary). After all, we do this for fun. Right? Otherwise, what’s the point? (I’ll need to think about that last question but, as of right now, I don’t have anything remotely approaching an answer.)
Posted by
at
14:23:21
I’ve taken a lot of guff on these pages. People saying I’m not real, along with other insults to my personhood. But I’ll rise above it and offer this to your measly sweepsteaks: "Take this, Sartre! I can blog and exist at the same time."
Thank you Burt for your most excellent entry, which has the mark of a real contender. I’m sorry some of our readers are so merciless (I’ve felt their wrath myself, sitting in the "hot seat," as I do). But I’m grateful, all the same, that you’ve decided to come back, even if it means stirring up the usual chorus of doubting Thomases and receiving another round of abuse.
I, for one, cheer this fine blog and it’s author. It is rare to find such fine writing in cyberspace. I cherish each and every posting!
Thank you, Alternate Universe Burt. I agree with you down to the last exclamation point! The thing I don’t get is why aren’t the other commenters as smart as you?
Snark:
An emergency has arisen to which the gang at CMS must respond by cancelling this month’s bumper sticker contest. Namely, the Red Sox have their backs against the proverbial wall in the playoffs. Is the reason obvious only to me? Unlike the past two years, this year’s Sawks don’t have a slogan. In 2003, it was "Cowboy off." In 2004, "We’re just a bunch of imbeciles," and that won them the World Series.
So, the crack staff at CMS needs to replace the bumper sticker contest with a Red Sox slogan contest. I’m sure the Snake-ospere will come through to get the Sox out of the hole they’re in.
Thanks TB for bringing this urgent matter to my attention–so urgent, in fact, that you might consider cancelling that trip of yours I’ve caught wind of. I won’t pull the Blogging Bumper Sticker contest for now, but rather will supplement it with bumper sticker entries that address this issue. I don’t have the answer yet but am working on a few angles. Here’s the best I’ve come up with so far: "Look out, Chicago. Beware the bloody sock!"
One other possibility, TB, though it’s admittedly still rough: "Right where we want ‘em. Red Sox up 0-2."
I’ve wondered why Schilling doesn’t wear the bloody sock when there is a particularly important game.
My contributions:
"Gerbil Up."
"We’re just a bunch of homos."
Dear Anonymous — You’re suggestions are interesting though not what I’d call "politically correct." One, in particular, is unfair to gerbils.