CALL ME SNAKE

This is my time to show that I care about what YOU–my readers and, sometimes, co-conspirators–say. In that sense, it is your time. MarcoPolo, for example, urged me not to sue Trader Joe’s because their “Crunchy” peanut butter lacked crunch, when a polite letter would prove much more effective. The thing is, I’ve read so much about how litigious our society has become and I’ve never really contributed to that development. This might be my best chance to get involved.

Turd Blossom (gotta love that name!) said I should drop the monthly Blogging Bumper Sticker Sweepstakes and do one about the Red Sox instead who are, according to him, in serious trouble. I had two suggestions: “Got them right where we want them. Red Sox lead 0-2.” And “Look Out, Chicago! Beware the Bloody Sock.” An anonymous reader also submitted two entries, including one that said “Gerbil Up,” a play on last year’s slogan, “Cowboy Up.” I won’t repeat his second entry, which is an insult to gerbils of all sexual persuasions.

Finally, in the spirit of public outreach, I’m reaching out to GATEMOUTH, who has yet to submit his winning entry for the Blogging Bumper Sticker Sweepstakes. I say “winning entry,” not because the contest is rigged (I swear it’s not), but because he has won every time in the past. So there is ample precedent, though time may eventually run out if we’re going to hold these contests on a monthly basis. Sometimes I think we should do one every day, but I’ve got a thing for bumper stickers. Some might call it an obsession. I call it a “healthy outlet” for creative impulses that are not wholly satisfied by blogging. In a more innocent era, that would be called a hobby, but we live in complicated times.