Thursday, October 13, 2005

THE NEWS IN BRIEF (or perhaps I should say the “News in Short”) — by Steve Nadis

Following up on yesterday’s exclusive on burnt muffins, I’ve decided to take up another burning-hot issue–an idea inspired by (stolen from?) “Things I Wonder About” (see link on right). “What’s up with people who wear shorts outside their sweatpants?” asked the author of that blog, Old Roses. It’s a question I’ve often asked myself, and frankly I don’t have any answers. From a fashion point of view, the shorts-outside-the-sweatpants look is an atrocious statement. Practically speaking, it makes no sense either. Allow me to illustrate: Suppose you’re doing a sport, or some other activity, and get warm. You’d like to take the sweatpants off but then you’ve got the shorts on the outside and the underwear underneath (or worse yet, underwear underneath). Nowhere to go, in other words. If you ask me, the whole thing makes no sense whatsoever. I’d go so far as to say it verges on the nonsensical.

Here’s another “News Short”: Yesterday was a sad day in my household. I retired a pair of shorts (as in actually throwing them in the trash)–a pair I’d had at least since high school, and before they were shorts, they’d been one of my favorite pairs of pants. My mother did the alteration herself–a job that has long since stood the test of time. We’re talking at least 35 years here. But they split right down the back and another hole was starting to form on the side, so it was time to say goodbye–another end to a long short life.

Ironically, I had just come back from picking my daughter up from her grammar school. I’d been debating with the school administration over a new policy that forced parents to pick up their children in the schoolyard rather than in the classroom, as had been the custom. But with holes in my pants, I looked like the kind of guy who should be hanging around grammar school lots.

Posted by Snake at 16:21:59
Comments

9 Responses to “THE NEWS IN BRIEF (or perhaps I should say the “News in Short”) — by Steve Nadis”

  1. Lindsey says:
    October 13, 2005 at 3:52 pm

    Glad to see you’re taking on the big issues of the day. Believe it or not, this blog is my lifeline to the outside world. Thanks for keeping me informed. Oops! Gotta run…

  2. Snake says:
    October 13, 2005 at 3:59 pm

    Thanks Lindsey for the note, and I certainly appreciate your loyalty. But you really ought to get out more.

  3. Windfall Woman says:
    October 13, 2005 at 7:49 pm

    My gosh, I am just amazed at your versatility! Muffins to fashion. Fashion citations should be issued to anyone wearing shorts outside of sweatpants. The end. Period. In fact, I can picture Gomer running after someone right now yelling, "Citizen’s Arrest." LOL….you are a hoot! Keep writing.

  4. Snake says:
    October 13, 2005 at 9:51 pm

    Thanks for the encouragement, WW. I’m either a renaisssance man or a dilettante. But my fashion sense is finely honed. Or perhaps I should say finely (and not so finely) holed.

  5. Windfall Woman says:
    October 14, 2005 at 12:05 am

    Maybe you should consider auctioning those shorts on ebay?

  6. Snake says:
    October 14, 2005 at 12:56 am

    Maybe I’m being too modest here in saying their value to others, lacking the sentimental attachment I have, would be small. The other problem is that the garbage collectors picked them up this morning and it would be difficult to recover them at this point. I fear their already miniscule value would be seriously diminished after the trip to the landfill.

  7. Windfall Woman says:
    October 14, 2005 at 1:37 am

    You might just have missed your windfall. They sound like awesome shorts.

  8. Snake says:
    October 14, 2005 at 2:53 am

    I’ve just come back from the town dump and retrieved them. What was I thinking? Anyway, I think you’re right. But I’m going to skip ebay & go straight to Sotheby’s.

  9. Windfall Woman says:
    October 14, 2005 at 4:15 am

    Thank God. I think I’ll be able to sleep now. Their sojourn at the dump only added to their quaintness. You are absolutely right about Sotheby’s. What WAS I thinking? Ebay is so…….gauche.

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