CALL ME SNAKE

The first installment of “Flotsam&Jetsam” was so successful, based on early returns, that some people (impetuously, if you ask me) are now calling for a new name for this blog–you guessed it, “Flotsam&Jetsam” in place of the old “Call Me Snake.” There is clearly an upside to introducing new features as we are wont to do, in terms of drumming up popular interest, but there is also a downside: Your whole blog, that you’ve built up painstakingly over the months, may be rashly brought down in favor of the proverbial “latest thing to come down the pike.” That said, I should point out that I too am a great admirer of “Flotsam&Jetsam,” and believe that the people I mentioned above who are clamoring to see this every day, instead of a volleyball blog or Boston Celtics blog, may be on to something. All I can say is time well tell. That may indeed be a providential idea, but let’s not be hasty. Rome was not burnt in a day, as is often pointed out in obscure footnotes and on bathroom walls.

And now, without further ado, the second installment of our sensational new feature… (Pardon me if the transition here seems abrupt, but I’d really like to get on with this, without a lot of exposition, “setting the stage,” and that sort of thing.) While the kids slept tonight (sleeping at night–what a radical concept), I was busy throwing out things, or getting stuff ready to send to the rummage sale, or to the recycling center, including books that they’d outgrown or books that “reinforced negative gender stereotypes,” as my wife often says. One of the books I came across when I did this thorough cleaning (pre-cleaning actually before the real cleaners–as in the pros–get here tomorrow) was Hansel and Gretel.

Actually, I just told the story all wrong. Sorry. Let me begin again, this time getting it right (I promise): During my major cleanup, I found a puzzle piece that went with one of the dozens of puzzles we have. (So the story comes back to puzzles again. Might this be a common thread in “Flotsam&Jetsam”? Maybe. It’s a work in progress and that may, indeed, prove to be an important leit motif.) After considerable head-scratching, I concluded it was a piece from a Hansel and Gretel puzzle. As I looked for the box (and didn’t find it because this puzzle did not have a box; it was a board puzzle), I thought about the story. About how that evil witch wanted to fatten up the children so that they would be bigger and tastier when she ate them. What I thought about was this: Kids at our children’s schools aren’t eating much these days in the way of lunch or snacks, and we’ve had several conversations with teachers on this subject. Of course, eating disorders have been rampant in this country for decades. Could Hansel and Gretel be at the root of this problem–or if not at the root at least a significant contributor?

“Why eat?” these kids might be telling themselves. “Maybe they’re just trying to fatten us up?” I’m not sure if there’s any sound, scientific basis for this concern but it is certainly a thought, if not a worry. And if it’s not a worry, it is a concern. And if it’s not a concern, it ought to be.