VICE PRESIDENT OF TORTURE ———— by Steve Nadis
The Washington Post now calls Cheney the “Vice President of Torture.” The administration claims (duplicitously) that they are not the champions of torture in the free world. Yet despite the denials coming from the executive branch, the association is clearly (and undeniably) there: A Google search of “Dick Cheney” and torture turns up 1,620,000 entries. That would seem to make him quite an authority on the subject. After years of dabbling in energy policy (i.e., big oil handouts) war mongering, and general efforts to make this a better country for Haliburton to do business in, our V.P. has finally found–in the art of torture–an issue he can really embrace.
Posted by
at
05:33:14
ZARDOZ SAYS:
CHECK YOURE RIGHT
ABOYT THE PREZIDENT.
——————ZARDOZ
It sure has been torture with him as the President, er, I mean, VP. How many more years are there to go? Wake me up when it’s over?
Thanks Zardoz though in this case I wish we weren’t right. And hi to you too Windfall; I’m hoping he’ll decide it’s time to step down "to spend some time with his family" and, though he probably won’t say this, "for the good of the country."
A suspected terrorist is dragged into a secret CIA torture room. As they’re stripping him and tying him to a chair, he notices four phones on the wall: 3 black ones and 1 red one.
"What are all those phones for?" the prisoner asks. But before the agents can answer, the first black phone rings.
"Hello, Mr. President," one of the agents says. "No, Mr. President, we don’t have any secret prisons. No, Mr. President, we would never torture anyone."
He hangs up. "That’s our direct-to-the-President line," the agent says.
The second phone rings. "Hello, Prime Minister," the agent says. "No, Prime Minister, we don’t have any secret prisons. No, Prime Minister, we would never torture anyone."
He hangs up. "That’s our direct-to-the-British-Prime- Minister line," the agent says.
The third black phone rings. The agent has the same conversation again, only this time with Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the U.N.
Finally, the agents clip some electrical wires to the prisoners genitals, and connect the wires to the red phone. Almost as soon as the wires are connected, the phone starts ringing. The prisoner gets one painful jolt after another in his penis until he’s almost unconscious. Then the phone finally stops ringing.
"Who–who’s phone is that?" the prisoner gasps.
"That one? Cheney’s, of course," the agent says. "What’s a torture chamber without a direct-to-Dick line?"
Hi Gatemouth — Thanks for the note. This would be hilarious if it weren’t true.
ZARDOZ SAYS:
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE.
NOW WERE JOKING ABOUT IT
GATEMOUTH I DONT KNOW
SOMETHINGS ARE TOO SERIOUS
TO EVEN THINK ABOUT JOKING
ANYWAYS ,, NICE TRY
TO LIGHTEN UP THE ATMOSPHERE
THOUGH….———ZARDOZ