SNEAK PREVIEW! A NEW TV PILOT! —— by Steve Nadis
Jimmie walks to his desk and trips over a chair suspiciously left in the middle of the aisle. He curses: “Christ, who’s been f__’ing with the furniture around here?”
Snickers can be heard from two other detectives, Marino and Bonez. “The guy takes a shot in the face and now it’s like he’s mad at the world,” Marino whispers. Bonez nods: “So he loses an eye. Get over it!”
The captain, Joe Murtaugh, a burly black man comes into the squad room to check out the disturbance. “Will you ladies quit your squabbling? How many times I gotta tell ya’, we’re like a family, y’hear? We don’t have to like each other. We don’t have to love each other. But let’s not kill each other — unless, of course, it’s absolutely necessary. Say in one of those ‘fratricide-type’ situations. Unnerstand?”
”OK boss,” grunts Marino. “I hear ya,” says Bonez.
Murtaugh turns to Jimmie: “What about you Conlon? Can we get past this? Or is something still eating you?
“Well, cap,” Jimmie begins, “something about this case that’s still not right. I was over at the crime scene the other day and I heard something…”
“Here we go again,” says Marino, rolling his eyes.
“He hears dead people,” Bonez adds.
“Knock it off,” says Murtaugh. Again turning to Jimmie: “So tell us Conlon, what’d you hear this time?”
”You’re not going to like this cuz it means recanvassing the whole area. But the super says he heard the shots and then saw the skell bust out the front door. But I was eating a chili dog right outside the building, and I’m sure I heard the door open before the shots.”
”What’re you sayin’?” asks Murtaugh.
”I’m saying we’ve got a bad guy in lockup. But he’s the wrong guy. I’m gonna talk to the super this morning. Go over his story.”
”What’s a matter, Conlon?” interjects Bonez. “Can’t stand to see someone else close a case?”
”I got no problem with that, Bonez. But when you close a case, close it right…”
Jimmie walks down the hall, calling for his dog: “Scooter, scooter…? Hey, which one of you clowns took my dog?” (Snickers can be heard from the vicinity of Marino’s and Bonez’s desks.) Jimmie stumbles again: “It’s not funny…”
[End of Prologue--OPENING CREDITS ROLL...]
zardoz:
xxxxxmmmmmm….
—————–z
Thanks Z. If I were quicker on the uptake, I’d know how to interpret that.
You "right pilots?" LOL……By the way, I am pretty darned quick on the uptake (usually), and I can’t tell if Z is blowing you kisses, sleeping, or moaning over the pilot. I’m still picturing your hands in the sky "righting pilots." That was good Snake. But……um….don’t give up your day job, ok? How’s the 7-11? Whole Foods? Didn’t I see you in the ER the other day?
Thanks Windfall. Which "day job" was that?
Two questions:
Is Joe Murtaugh related to Roger Murtaugh of the "Lethal Weapon" franchise? Same race and same last name seem too much of a coincidence.
How is "Bonez" pronounced? Is it like "Bones?" Or perhaps "bo-NEZ?" Or maybe its kinda Frenchy, like "bo-NAY?"
Hi TB — You’re a sharp one to catch that. Yeah, he might be Roger’s brother. As for Bonez it’s more spanish than frenchy–i.e., bo-NEZ. You seem to have a flair for this sort of thing. Maybe we’ll collaborate on the next pilot?
oh yeah, I forgot….you can’t count the day job that you hold - freelance writing, taking care of the house and kids….No……that’s just SO easy. You can’t fool me Snake. I know those are hard jobs! You didn’t answer my other questions? Holding those for fodder for future posts?
Well this is ironic because I just came back from BOTH 7-11 & Whole Foods a minute ago. I went to 7-11 for milk & bread but they were out of whole wheat bread so I had to go to Whole Foods too. That’s quite a night–the high point of my social life for the whole week!
zardoz says:
way back in a galaxy long ago
right about the time the fonz
was ready to get married.
There was a police show
starring 7 or 8 basic characters
one of whom was ABE VIGODA
(played in "the godfather")
which was a comedy sitcom
(really dont know what this word means) SITCOM.
and cant remember the title of the show.
ANYWAYS:
The characters you wrote about sounded very
FAMILIAR marino ? sonez? FARINO. DONEZ.
and so did the scene,
I think youre treading on much passed OVER ground ,
and your 70’s T.V.watching was much more intense
and scarred some memory tissues,
which your t.v. hungry mind is now bringing up for lunch.
that’s what ALL the mooing is all about,
DEJA-VU
———————————-ZARDOZ
Snake, I dunno about the other guys but I think you might have something here. I was rolling on the floor as soon as I read the show’s name: "I’VE GOT EARS"…. I’m still laughing. I loved it! I even visualized Jimmy (a mix-n-match between James Belushi/’K9 slob cop’, Robert Blake/’Baretta’ and Mel Gibson/’Lethal Weapons 1-78′). Joe Murtaugh is definitely a part for Ernie Hudson!
Snake, when is this on? I gotta set up the TiVo to see how it turns out!
Thanks folks. I’ll let you know Doc. You’ve probably got a couple of years, which should be time to set the damn thing up. I appreciate your enthusiasm FW! Let’s hope the studios are as perceptive. Hi Z — the show was "Hill Street Blues." I barely remember that supposedly "groundbreaking" show because it came out during a time when I really did not watch TV.
Barney Miller…not Hill Street Blues. Hill Street Blues was definitely 80s. And I don’t think it had Abe Vegoda in it.
Wasn’t the blind thing done in that awful show Blind Justice earlier this year? I hope your show is better.
You’re right Catherine, it was Barney Miller. As for my "show," unless someone picks it up from this blog (doubtful), that’s probably where it’ll remain.
zardoz says :
thankyou catherine
i couldnt remember
the name of that show
BARNEY MILLER
but i remember
alot of episodes
it was made in
the late 70’s
HOW TIME FLIES.
—————ZARDOZ