THE GREAT PRE-YULETIDE BUMPER STICKER SWEEPSTAKES — by Steve Nadis
It’s that time of year again. No, I’m not talking about Christmas, Hannukah, or Kwanzaa. I’m talking about the Great First Annual Pre-Yuletide No-Holds-Barred Down-and-Dirty Bumper Sticker Sweepstakes. There are no ground rules for this competition, save for one: Given the holiday spirits that have taken over our nation like a magical balm, I request that you make your bumper stickers positive and uplifting, trying to keep your negativity and cynicism to a minimum. That said, here is the first (winning) entry:
LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF TORTURE — All Hail the Bush Legacy!
Rest assured that I will give each and every one of your entries as much scrutiny as I did my own entry before announcing it the winner. Good luck, play ball, and remember: Keep it clean!
Posted by
at
15:14:13
I need a few things cleared up before I pay my participation fee.
No.1: Is there a particular theme, e.g. torture? Or can we expand to Chips Ahoy?
No.2: Are we allowed only one entry or can we ramble on?
No.3: Will the prize be a DVD player?
Well, I”m too keen to participate so I”m not waiting for an answer (I neeeeeed that DVD player bad!)
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"Heal the world with Torture"
"You don”t want Cheney as your enemy!"
"Do it with Torture."
"Call Me Snake.
Just call GW Dopey".
"Torture? No thank you. I”m full."
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Hi FW — thanks for your entries; they will get the scrutiny they deserve. There is no theme [such as torture]; the subject matter is wide open.
"Keep the Christ in Christmas or I”ll kill you!"
Thanks Doc, that’’s excellent; it shall receive every consideration when the judges convene. No cash awards by the way (in answer to FW’’s question); the main reward is knowing you”ve competed (successfully) against the world’’s very finest.
"I”m Not a HillBilly - I”m an Appalachian-American"
"Goatse Yourself"
"Winning a Nobel Peace Prize means nothing if you”re Black"
"This car is still running, courtesy of Duct Tape"
"Undercover Cop"
Dear Ms. Amber — I like these a lot and promise they will receive serious consideration by our distinguished panel of judges. Thanks again for your contributions.
This is a reminder to myself; I”ve taken the liberty of jotting down Windfall’’s idea (edited) here, should I get clearance to use it in the sweepstakes.
Written by: Windfall Woman: Here’’s my definition of torture — George W. Bush as President.