Saturday, December 24, 2005

DOWN TO THE WIRE — by Steve Nadis

I don’t do much in the way of Christmas/Hanukkah (I still can’t bring myself to use the term “Christmukkah”) shopping. My wife takes care of that all too well. In fact, I wish she didn’t do such a good job of it. Maybe cut a few corners, here or there. Which reminds me of the old Jewish joke: “We hold hands all the time. If I let go, she shops.” (Which reminds me, in turn, of some other old Jewish jokes I like: Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it. Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.)

The point I was trying to make is that I just need to buy a gift for her, yet I always take it to the last minute. The last store on my list closed at 3 p.m. today, and I got there by 2:45 p.m. I could have gotten there earlier, I suppose, but I like the rush of last-minute xmas shopping. I guess I am a bit of a thrill junkie in that way. When you take it down to the wire, as I invariably do, there’s no time for hesitation. No time for indecision. You buy the item and get the hell out. If you don’t, the store clerks will forceably remove you. You also don’t have to worry about checking 100 different stores for the perfect item because they’re all going to be closed.

Here’s how I think of it: The game is on the line, the clock is winding down, and you’ve got just one shot. It’s time, in other words, for the “go-to” guy. The ringer. In that moment, I am Larry Bird. Or Michael Jordan. And the fantasy is perfect–that is until the cashier has to ruin the moment by saying: “Cash or charge?”

Posted by Snake at 21:29:47
Comments

9 Responses to “DOWN TO THE WIRE — by Steve Nadis”

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    December 24, 2005 at 4:35 pm

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  2. Windfall Woman says:
    December 24, 2005 at 5:06 pm

    I swear I didn”t sic that above post on you! I swear I didn”t. Maybe I”m rubbing off on you?

  3. Windfall Woman says:
    December 24, 2005 at 5:07 pm

    By the way, aren”t you enjoying not being mad at anyone? I”ll tell you a secret. It hasn”t been easy today. LOL…

  4. Snake says:
    December 24, 2005 at 11:23 pm

    Hi Windfall — You”re right; it’’s hard to be nice. From the above, it appears that my ship has come in. 2006 is looking velly, velly good for Snake.

  5. OldRoses says:
    December 27, 2005 at 12:44 am

    Personally, I enjoy the thrill of shopping online.

  6. Snake says:
    December 27, 2005 at 12:52 am

    Hi Roses — That’’s cool, but I prefer to be out there w/all the frantic people in the throes of last-minute shopping. It takes all kinds, I guess.

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