Saturday, April 30, 2005
DOWNSIZE THIS! by Steve Nadis
I should say, by way of protest, that I consider this classification scheme highly subjective. That said, I can’t explain my 13 percent drop in overall importance (as judged by raw statistics) and, more significantly, my 18 percent drop in “relevance.” I thought I was doing pretty well, keeping a reasonably high profile, but the numbers don’t lie: Apparently, I’ve passed my peak and entered the long decline that will continue until there’s no further to sink at which point I will have reached my final destination, that being rock bottom.
ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE… For vanity cases who can’t bear to miss a single reference to themselves, Google has a new feature, “Google Alerts,” through which you can receive live updates via email every time you make it onto a new Google entry. Of course, the same technology could be used to inform you of every new listing on rutabagas, if that brand of turnip happens to be your main interest in life.
Friday, April 29, 2005
RING OF TRUTH OR RING OF FIRE? ——- by Steve Nadis
AN EFFICIENT WASTE OF TIME ————– by Steve Nadis
I don’t know about you but sometimes I need a little motivation to drop all my pressing responsibilities and start blogging. A sign I stick to my computer screen helps get me going: “There’s no time to waste. Start wasting time.”
Thursday, April 28, 2005
SHARP SHOOTIN’ AND SHARP THINKIN’ IN ARIZONY by Steve Nadis
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING! ————– by Steve Nadis
THANKS FOR NOTHING by Steve Nadis
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
I HATE SNARKY by Steve Nadis
THE AGONY OF DEFEAT by Steve Nadis
Monday, April 25, 2005
IT’S ALL RELATIVE by Steve Nadis
2005 NBA PLAYOFF REPORT ————– by Steve Nadis
Saturday, April 23, 2005
TIME WARP by Steve Nadis
PLYMOUTH ROCK FOUND! by Steve Nadis
Friday, April 22, 2005
OFFICIAL 2005 NBA PLAYOFF PREVIEW by Steve Nadis
There has been much wrangling over the deal that brought Antoine Walker back to the Celtics, and I admit that “Call Me Snake” has been dragged reluctantly into the fray. It’s now time to settle this issue once and for all. With the benefit of hindsight, it seems clear that Ainge’s deal was indeed “brilliant” and I was “wrong” to have suggested otherwise. Of course, the “genius” of that transaction may soon be called into question, depending on how the Celts fare in the postseason, and I may ultimately be proved “right” again. There is only one place on Earth where I am always right, and that is here on the blogosphere in that cozy little nook known as “Call Me Snake.”
A Happy Place… by Steve Nadis
Thursday, April 21, 2005
OY, THAT BUSH! by Steve Nadis
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
DAILY NEWS BRIEFING by Steve Nadis
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
NASHVILLE COUNTRY JOURNAL (Le IVieme) by Steve Nadis
What, if anything, does that mean? Perhaps they just don’t say that anymore, which would be a pity. The alternative, however, would be far worse from my point of view: Maybe they’all don’t want me to “come back soon, y’hear?”
PLYMOUTH ROCK IS MISSING —————- by Steve Nadis
Sunday, April 17, 2005
MOVING THE ATLANTIC by Steve Nadis
Saturday, April 16, 2005
OFFICIAL BOSTON CELTICS POST-GAME WRAP-UP (Number Whatever) ————— by Steve Nadis
I enjoyed the Almond column and agree with most things he said–especially the part about the squash ball being “very hard”–though I take issue with his characterization of squash as “the most macho game ever invented.” That’s because I know something Almond doesn’t know: Seven years ago, the man he calls “the good Rev” played two games of handball against a well-known blogger. After two games, his hands were a purplish, puffy mess and he vowed never to set foot on a handball court again–a promise he shows no signs of breaking. I think that pretty well squashes the squash theory and puts handball back on the macho deathsport pedestal where it belongs, one notch below badminton.
Friday, April 15, 2005
STAR CHASER by Steve Nadis
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
IMPORTANT CONSUMER NOTICE! ——— by Steve Nadis
LIFE IS SHORT by Steve Nadis
BRITNEY’S BIG SECRET by Steve Nadis
Monday, April 11, 2005
TRUE FACTS by Steve Nadis
Sunday, April 10, 2005
STREAKS TO THE LEFT OF ME, STREAKS TO THE RIGHT by Steve Nadis
Friday, April 8, 2005
NADA by Steve Nadis
But maybe there’s something wrong with me. Just because the Celtics or Red Sox have not played doesn’t mean there’s nothing else worth discussing. Perhaps, as many people have suggested, I should establish some sort of “inner life.” That’s an interesting idea, which I just might look into–that is if I ever find a moment where I have nothing of great significance to report on.
Thursday, April 7, 2005
A VISCIOUS ATTACK (Assault II on Blog Precinct 13) by Steve Nadis
If he thinks he can do any better, I’ll give him the opportunity to write his own post in this very blog. The public will then decide whose voice it prefers more. I’ll then decide personally how to respond to said mandate, either rejecting it out of hand or ignoring it altogether. So consider it a challenge, Mr. High-Falutin’ “J.J.” I’ve taken my glove off and ceremoniously slapped it across your check. Now the “glove” is on your shoe.
NEW STREAKS IN THE MAKING? ————– by Steve Nadis
The Red Sox, meanwhile, have a one-game winning streak, after capturing the final game of their series against the “Evil Empire” (aka “Bronx Bombers” [aka the feared, dreaded, hated, "I Love New York" Yankees]).
As for my own personal streak–my so-called consecutive-day “right” or “wrong” streak–I’ve sort of lost track. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what I was “wrong” about, if I ever was wrong, but I’m now confident about be right, even if it pertains to being right about being wrong. There, glad we cleared that up. Shall we move on?
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
CELEBRITY GUEST INTERVIEW ———- The Return of Jungle Jerk
Snake: There’s one thing I’ve always wondered about–why do they call it a RAIN forest?
JJ: Because it rains a lot.
Snake: Yeah, I got that. But what about the forest part?
JJ: Well, uh, given the audience, I should have mentioned the fact that there are a lot of trees.
Snake: Interesting… That sort of makes sense. Is there anything else you care to say about it?
JJ: Not really. I’m kind of tired. I’ve been up since 5 a.m.
Snake: Our time or theirs? And if theirs, who are “they” anyway?
JJ: Well maybe it was 6 a.m. here, not 5 a.m. Either way, that’s still early in my book. Can I stop talking now?
Snake: Sure, that’s cool. I’ve run out of questions anyway.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: A full transcript of this conversation will soon be available on a dedicated website. The URL for this site will be posted so that interested parties can catch every word of this fascinating exchange.]
OFFICIAL BOSTON CELTICS POST-GAME WRAP-UP, Part ___? (sorry, I lost track) ———- by Steve Nadis
Before we go there, a word about Antoine Walker, who was injured over the weekend and is out for several games. No news on his condition, though Coach Rivers did say in his last press conference that whatever part of his body that was injured is “still puffy.” That’s probably more details than you care to know, but we promise to forward information as it comes in. With Walker out of the lineup, the time has come to stop pinning the team’s fortunes and setbacks on one man and one man alone. I don’t know if my “wrong” streak is still on or off, but I have officially, permanently (at least for now) stopped counting. I’ve come to realize that an undue focus on a single player–even a player of Walkeresque proportions– is unhealthy for team chemistry. Therefore, I will stop doing that forthwith and promise to say no more on the subject until my next team update. I came to this decision on my own and am not responding to any pressure that might have been put on me by Danny Ainge or other members of the so-called “management team.” That’s all I can say while litigation is pending. I’ve already said too much.
Tuesday, April 5, 2005
NASHVILLE COUNTRY JOURNAL (Le Troisieme) by Steve Nadis
Man One (casual, though masking an obvious interest): Is he tall?
Man Two (barely audible, without looking up): Not so as you’d notice it.
I’d stake my life on the accuracy of that transcript, despite the errors that often creep into the reporting process. Why the certitude? Because I’m particularly fond of that turn of phrase, “not so as you’d notice it,” and hearing those words–especially when uttered correctly, with just the right level of indifference–snaps my nervous system into a heightened state of attention. I’d like to see that expression brought back into widespread usage. If you agree, and want to be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem, try using it at least once a day, in different contexts and among different people. With your help, and this shared vision to guide us, we can create a revolution in popular parlance that’s not been seen, or heard, since “where’s the beef?” Now that’s something everyone can get behind.