VIOLENCE AFOOT — by Steve Nadis
There’s something strange going on. Very strange. In the last three movies I’ve seen, somebody gets stabbed in the foot. I hope I’m not spoiling things for others who haven’t yet seen these movies but if you think you might see them, STOP READING NOW! Two nights ago, I saw “History of Violence” at a theater in Harvard Square and Viggo Mortensen took one in the foot. The last movie I saw in a theater, Ice Harvest, John Cusack got the same treatment. And in True Romance, an older movie I recently rented, James Gandolfini got foot-stabbed too, this time by Patricia Arquette, star of The Medium. That’s three consecutive movies and three consecutive blood-splattered feet. What are the odds? And what are the movie gods–if such entities exist–trying to tell me?
I’m not sure, but for now I’m wearing steel-plated construction boots around the clock, 24/7, even when I sleep. I sleep better at night, knowing my feet are safe, even though the boots are uncomfortable as hell and keep me awake all night. The good thing about that is I’m not getting woken up by my cat every morning. And if American Airlines wants to call me at 6 a.m. about some missing bag, I don’t mind. They can go right ahead for all I care.
Posted by
at
05:47:38
Aren’t you relieved you didn’t see 3 consecutive films with shots fired to the head? Motorcycle helmets tend to be a tad uncomfortable while sleeping.
ha ha ha ha ha ha
im rolling over….
ha ha ha ha
thats a great one flubberwinkle.
————–zardoz
I LOVED this entry. Snake, you are one hilarious guy. I bet you are alot of fun to live with! (Yuck, I ended the sentence with a preposition!) You incorporated alot of my favorite topics in this entry - Patricia Arquette, Medium, Viggo, Harvard Square, sleeping……oh, and the cat. You only forgot "Duel in the Sun," but no one gets stabbed in the foot. FW is funny, isn’t she?
Dangling prepositions are things up with which I will not put.
You are wearing those boots around the clock, 24/7 AND while you sleep? Those must be some smelly feet.
Yes, foot-stabbing is an archetypal form of abuse in Western culture. Jesus was stabbed (or nailed) in both feet. Moses is rumored to have stepped on a thorn the second time he went up the mountain. (The burning bush put it there because It was mad at him.) And historians have found evidence of a lot of footstabbing (not to mention backstabbing) back and forth between Cain and Abel, before one finally got the idea to club the other to death.
Freud believed that footstabbing in dreams symbolized a latent foot-fetish. Jung theorized that footstabbing fantasies arise out of a primitive urge to cripple others. And, in case you don’t know, in the very first version of the famous "chimps and bone" scene of "2001: A Space Odyssey", one chimp whacked the other on the foot with a bone, whereupon the other poked him in the eyes, and the whole thing devolved into a primal Three Stooges scene.
Just thought you’d like to know…
Nothing hurts worse than when your foot hurts. You would think that it being farther away from your head that it wouldn’t hurt so bad. I broke my big toe on my left foot, my car is a standard. Every time I pressed on the clutch, I thought I was going to be sick.
It only hurt when it was below my head.
MsAmber
I couldn’t agree with you more, Amber. In fact, I’ll have more to say on the subject of feet very soon. Thank you Gatemouth for putting my halfbaked ideas into historical/cultural/phenomenological context. Yes TB, they really stink. And yes to you too Windfall. Every agrees that I am a lot of fun to live with–everyone except those (including my cat) that have to live with me. You’re right Z (&WW), FW came up with a good one. I’m glad I didn’t see 3 movies with bullets in the head because that’s rather passe’, isn’t it?
Sounds like you need a good old fashioned Western to me. Of course they died with their boots on, but they weren’t stabbed in their feet. I think you know that fantastic Western of which I am speaking….don’t cha?
Let me guess. Might the title mention our closest star?
I knew a co-worker once who seriously split open his foot on a dried Rice Krispie that was in his carpet. If you give up on the boots Snake, be extra careful when you have breakfast in bed.
Thanks Doc for alerting us to a new threat–one that is lurking, silently, deadly, in our breakfast cereal. You’ve performed yet another public service–and done so in your usual thankless fashion.
Yup Snake …… you got it……Atticus Finch himself.
Atticus as a bad guy……that is
Hmmm, boots in bed. Sounds vaguely kinky to me.
I like kinky.
The comments are taking an interesting turn.
It’s really not that interesting. I misrepresented myself in the last comment. I’m actually just a normal guy from the Midwest. Sorry for the deception, which I considered harmless enough at the time.