CALL ME SNAKE

I don’t normally use this space to get on the soapbox, but some matters are so urgent as to prompt, and indeed necessitate, urgent measures. Handball is a dying sport. Let me break that down for you one more time in case you weren’t paying attention: Handball is a dying sport. I have that on the highest authority–from my father back in Chicago, who’s played the game for nearly 60 years. So if he says a game is dying, I’m inclined to believe him. And that certainly seems to be the case at the Cambridge Family YMCA. We’re now down to just five handball players–six if you count John, who comes just once or twice a year (on account of being too busy with his new university job). Five is not much when you consider that Ronnie’s got knee issues, Jimmy has back issues, Woody has shoulder issues, I’ve got my own “issues,” and Danny is retired and travels a lot (too much, if you ask me). A few men down (“Man down! Man down!”) and we’ll have trouble scraping together a game.

We’ve lost a lot to attrition over the years: Tony’s shoulder finally got to him. (He hated losing to people worse than him–i.e., people like me.) Jeff faded away; they say his wife didn’t let him out much once they had kids. Neal, who used to live a few blocks from the Y, moved to Arlington; Gary, who used to live in Arlington, moved to China. Various other people just moved on period.

At the same time, our recruitment efforts haven’t panned out so far. Vinnie showed up a couple of years ago, but (as the Boston “Open-level” champ), he was too good for us and moved on. Trevor (a former Irish champ) stopped coming after a few times and maybe moved back to Ireland. Phil showed up once and didn’t come back. (He said his hands hurt.) Donnie showed up once and didn’t come back. (He said his hands hurt.) Tommy played once, after a long layoff, and hasn’t come back. (He said his hands hurt–a refrain that is becoming all too familiar, if not tedious.)

So we’re down, as I said, to the “fabulous five,” just barely scraping by, in contrast to the situation a couple of decades ago when there were dozens of players and regular tournaments and court time was hard to come by. Hence this urgent appeal: Any handball players in the Cambridge/Boston area owe it to themselves, and to the sport itself, to come on down to the Cambridge Family YMCA. There’s more at stake here than just the interests of a handful of desperate players. We’re trying to save a dying game.