AND THE WINNER IS… — by Steve Nadis
One month later, we finally have a winner to the Great April Fool’s Day Bumper Sticker Sweepstakes. I had been waiting for Gatemouth to send in the winning entry but have been unable to reach him. (Unlisted phone number.) I was uncertain as to the winner when I realized I’d been staring at it all along; it was in fact the punchline of a recent post (“Letter to the New Yorker…”). And the winner is … ME!!! No, actually, this time the winner is not me. The winner is S. for his entry, which he did not, in fact, submit but is, nevertheless, an actual bumper sticker:
“Jesus to Bush: Stop using me as a reference!”
And the runner up is: Everyone who sent in an entry, thought of sending in an entry, or thought of sending in an entry and wisely decided not to.
Save your ideas. Another contest will be announced soon!
Posted by
at
05:30:48
Obviously you didn’t get my check. Dang it. So much for rigged sweepstakes.
No I didn’t. But it’s not too late to make any last-minute changes if and when the check arrives. (Note: I didn’t say that.)
Oh no–the plagiarism pandemic has spread to blogs and bumper-stickers! S.’s so-called “original” bumper-sticker has at least a 4 year history around my town, and probably yours as well. Maybe he internalized it? Maybe the large bumper-sticker author packaging company that helped him produce his winning entry didn’t fact-check it properly? In any case, I think Snake should take away Smitty’s prize and cancel his lucrative bumper-sticker contract.
Now, since there is no official winner, I thought I might as well hand in my late entries. (I was away on a fact-finding expedition. Turns out there aren’t any in the U.S. I had to go all the way to England to find just one. And that was really more of a factoid than a true fact.)
BUMPER STICKER ENTRIES:
1) Thank God Bush doesn’t know any countries with *five* letters.
2) Israel knew when *their* leader was incompetent.
3) I support the 36-month Presidential Vacation Plan.
4) The Bush Diet: six helpings of bullshit every day.
Thanks Gatemouth, great to hear from you. I’m taking the charges you raised very seriously and will be making an announcement soon. Sincerely, The Judges (aka “The Decider”)