CELEBRITY GUEST COMMENT: Introducing a New Bumper Sticker Contest! by Steve Nadis
After controversy embroiled the last bumper sticker competition, I thought we were going to take a long break. But Gatemouth, a gifted bumper sticker writer, stepped up big with the following comment which forced my hand. With such a promising start, I had no choice but to go forward with the new competition. So here, without further ado, is Gatemouth and his celebrated “Celebrity Guest Comment.” (Somebody hire this guy quick or I’m going to nab him as my “creative director.”)
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GATEMOUTH SPEAKS: How about a contest for bumper stickers about whining? I’ll start:
1) Bush: “No 1st Amendment, no whiners, no problem!”
2) If a liberal whines in the forest, does Dick Cheney shoot him?
3) If whining could save the world, you’d be the Messiah.
4) Global warming - it’s not just for whiners anymore.
5) The kids in my other car whine, too.
6) A whine a day keeps pretty much everyone away.
7) First thing we do, let’s shoot all the whiners.
9) If you can hear me whine, you’re driving too close.
10) This is the way the world ends: not with a bang but with a lot of whining.
And please, can we all agree to skip the obvious “Whiner on board!” and “I whine, therefore I am”?
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EDITOR’S NOTE: I can’t promise not to use those, particularly “Whiner on board,” which has a nice ring. All I have for now is:
Stop me before I whine again.
Eating out, for us, means whine and dine. And then more whine.
Hooray! I always wanted to be a celebrity! (I mean, there was that incident in high-school, with the pool and the jello and the cross-dressing cheerleaders. But that doesn’t really count.)
The title is well-earned, Gatemouth.
Oooooooooooooooh Noooooooooooo, not another bumper sticker contest. I can never think up anything fuuuuuuuuuuny. I can’t deal with with the pressuuuuuuuure. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
No worries, Doc. I don’t want to stress you out. Maybe an idea will come to you when you’re in the shower. And if the spirit moves you, sing out.
CROSSDRESSING CHEERLEADERS,,,
WHATZ THIS BLOG,, COMING TO ?
“Go ahead punk. Whine. Make my day.”
My humble offering to the contest.
Thanks FW for your inspired entry. Hi Z — We do all that? Wow, it’s even better than I thought.
How about a popular music / whine bumpersticker category? E.g.:
Whine, Whine, Whine, Do Your Stuff
Whining Boy, Don’t Deny My Name
Bottle O’ Whine
Thanks TB. I’ll gladly throw them into the mix. And I mean that in the best sense possible.