CALL ME SNAKE

To hear the Boston Globe describe it, youths are running wild, and unclothed, in the streets Brattleboro, Vermont, where public nudity is perfectly legal. “What began as a lark or an ode to youthful exubrance has now turned into a municipal quandary,” writes the New England paper of record (my second favorite source of information after Parade magazine, of course). Some adults in the community, including business proprietors, have been offended by the brazen displays of undress. It has reached the point where local businesses might be tempted to purchase one of my all-time favorite (and bestselling) bumper stickers: “No shirt, no shoes, no pants, no service.” While legislators are now contemplating a ban on public nudity, I suspect the youthful practice will ultimately attract more tourists and “sightseers” to the town than would normally flock there, in which case town officials might want to make public nudity not just permissable but mandatory. The state’s license plates, taking a cue from New Hampshire, might then read: “Clothes free or die.”