CALL ME SNAKE

I raced to the phone last week, tripping over a scooter and two rollerskates on the way there, to be greeted with this message: “Please wait. An attendant will be right with you… Please wait. An attendant will be right with you…” What an opportunity–unsolicited, granted, which could make it all the better. Maybe this was my chance to wish for anything I desired. Maybe the attendant had every intention of attending to my needs. And wants. Maybe this was the genie I’d been hoping for since childhood. So what did I do? I hung up.

That reckless, thoughtless act has haunted me ever since. Reflecting on the whole incident, which was over and done with in less than 30 seconds, I’m starting to think that may well have been a once-in-a-lifetime shot. Since then, of course, that attendant (i.e., MY ATTENDANT) has not called back. And given my rudeness, he probably never will.