Wednesday, November 15, 2006

WORLD-CLASS SPONGER — by Steve Nadis

I must confess that until yesterday, I did not know who Kevin Federline was, though I had probably seen the name while standing in line at the grocery store. A gossip column in the Metro, the paper I get for sudoku (the puzzle is located in the celebrity/gossip section, which is how I pick up this stuff), suggested that Federline, Britney Spears’ estranged husband, burned through $50 million of her money, depleting her net worth from $100 million to $50 million.

I have no idea if it’s true. (I do not follow these things.) But supposing it is. My first impulse would be to call him a no-account, lazy bum. But on second thought, I have to admit that spending that kind of money has got to be hard work. It especially seems that way to a penny pincher like myself. My thriftiness came home to me the other night while I was watching a horrible David Mamet movie called “Edmond” in which the title character, portrayed by William Macy, tries negotiating at a variety of sex clubs and keeps walking out dissatisfied, protesting: “THAT’S TOO MUCH!”

But getting back to Kevin. If what they say is true, how do you blow that much dough in two years? For a guy like me, who hates parting with $50, $50 million seems stratospheric, almost unfathomable. That could very well make him the greatest mooch of all time. And if I were the kind of guy who wore a hat (hate ‘em), my hat would be off to him right now.

Posted by Snake at 01:54:29
Comments

8 Responses to “WORLD-CLASS SPONGER — by Steve Nadis”

  1. Flubberwinkle says:
    November 15, 2006 at 1:17 pm

    Wow.
    $50 million.
    Imagine how much he would have spent if he HADN’T been lazy.

  2. Snake says:
    November 15, 2006 at 1:23 pm

    Yeah, good thing for her he’s not an overachiever. Otherwise, her bank account would be looking more like mine.

  3. Oldroses says:
    November 15, 2006 at 7:35 pm

    I bet he doesn’t use coupons.

  4. Snake says:
    November 15, 2006 at 10:02 pm

    This guy’s got something better than coupons.

  5. Marco Polo says:
    November 16, 2006 at 12:24 am

    But let’s get realistic. That’s 50 Mill over 2 YEARS. 730 days, maybe even 731. ;) 50 mill/730 is a paltry 685 thousand a…. Holy S___! That IS a lot o’ dough.
    So, what did he DO? Buy an island in Hawaii? A jumbo jet?
    A Back Bay condo? The $$$ had to go somewhere! All I’m sure of is- none of it ended up in anybody’s pockets up here. Maybe it has to “trickle down”, to use an old Reagan term. Remember him? {oooh.. sorry poor choice of woids.}

  6. Snake says:
    November 16, 2006 at 8:08 am

    thanks MP — I agree w/your sentiment though not necessarily your arithmetic. Please recheck your calculation. Sincerely, Snake

  7. Marco Polo says:
    November 16, 2006 at 2:20 pm

    Whoops!~68.5 thousand..I sit corrected (actually hunched over). WELL, now! That’s E-A-S-Y to spend…A Maserati here, a Hummer there (dealers Open on weekends!) And let’s not forget those penthouse weekend stays in all the famous world cities. Come to think of it, Kevin should be in great Shape! Anyone notice whether he has “hiker’s legs”?
    Gotta go- somebody wants me to install a sound system in this Hum… hey, wait a min’ It’s Federline’s!!
    By the by, Snake, you’ll soon read in that same fine publication that Kevin’s getting ready to sell his sex tape a la Britney for a cool 50 million. Maybe he plans to pay her BACK! Sumpin’ tells me she won’t be opening the door w/ a smile…

  8. Snake says:
    November 16, 2006 at 10:06 pm

    Thanks for the hot tip, MP. As for the math, I’ll have my 2d grader check it for the both of us.

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