A REBUTTAL — by Steve Nadis
That was the end of the story until yesterday, when I came across something written by a cosmologist I’ve talked with before, who used to be in Chicago. He spoke of his neighborhood there, saying “I was truly in my yuppie-metrosexual element.” That word again. I’d never seen it before in my life and now it had reared its ugly head twice in two days. Whereas I recoiled from the suggestion, this guy seemed to embrace the term, without any trace of embarrassment. Which shows that you don’t necessarily know someone, just because you’ve talked a few times about the birth, evolution, and end of the universe. And he doesn’t know a thing about me, since I was the guy asking the questions, saying little and revealing even less. On many issues of politics, I know we agree. But when it comes to that one 11-letter word, we’re worlds apart.
To each his own I say. For the record, I have metrosexuals as friends; but I don’t date anyone that spend more time on his appearance than I do on my own. It’s an insecurity thing.
You know, I dislike the stigma that goes with that word as well. Its like if a guy looks good and dresses well, he’s suddenly a metrosexual. I get this crap all the time from both my male and female friends, and on what basis? Because I know what looks good, both for you and for me?
Listen up, guys and girls: fellas, rather then spend your time giving us shit, use our knowledge to help you, cause you need; and ladies, what the hell are you complaining about? You want a hairy man with a beergut and trucker hat, by all means. And even if you have an issue with how long it takes us get ready or shop or whatever… we have put up with that from your sex for the last millenia. Nuff said.
If anyone saw how I dressed, they’d know I have no business even commenting on this controversy. The defense rests.
so what would ‘cosmosexual’ imply…??
Snark?
what guttersnake said…!=z=
Now I see I should have kept my big mouth shut.
I fear this conversation may lead to metro-sectarian violence. Which leads me to an interesting solution to the Iraq problem. All we have to do is foster a neurotic obsession with fashion among the insurgents. They’ll get so conflicted about the trendiest way to strap dynamite to their bodies that they’ll never get around to actuallly blowing anything up. Then, when we’ve got them hooked, we rain men’s fashion catalogs and “Queer Eye” videos down on them and offer them free jackets and mock turtleneck sweaters if they’ll give themselves up. They’ll be surrendering in droves!
The “metro-terrorist solution”–you heard it here first, folks.
Thanks Gatemouth, I didn’t realize how important this subject truly was, nor did I appreciate its full implications.
metropolitan… –n. 2. ,..or one who has the manners & tastes associated with a metropolis.
cosmopolitan… –n. 5. a person who is free from local, provincial or national predjudices or ideas.
I submit that Snake is cosmosexual.
“cosmo…Cosmo…Snarkie is A cosmo!!” :)~
What in the world [universe?] have I started? Why didn’t I leave well enough alone?
“Metro-sectarian”?!?! LOL! That is friggin’ brillant!
As I preen around….to think I got to start this by a mere question. I LOVE Gatemouth’s idea about “metro-terrorist” solution. Do we need a metrosexual President to put it on his plank?