CALL ME SNAKE

My column in the local paper, The Cambridge Chronicle, has recently taken a turn–and not for the better. I can tell by the reaction of John, a long-time Cambridge resident and former teacher who now works the front desk at the Cambridge Y. “I liked your column,” he used to say when I came to the gym. Sometimes, if he was talking to someone else when I entered the premises, he’d point to me and say: “He writes a column for the Chronicle,” which almost made me embarrassed. Now I’m getting embarrassed for a different reason.

A couple of weeks ago when I came in John said: “Your column wasn’t too bad this week. Not too many mistakes.” Yesterday the reaction was even worse: “Your columns are getting longer and longer,” he said. “Like verbal diarrhea.”

So that’s the trajectory. I started out like Jimmy Cagney in WHITE HEAT: “On top of the world, ma!” And since then it’s been a steady descent to the bottom. Which is why people always say: “Enjoy it while it lasts.” What can I say? It’s been a brief thrill ride. I enjoyed my 15 minutes. But now the motion sickness is starting to get to me.