CALL ME SNAKE

Fortunately the Italian publishing industry has not been in contact with my plumber, who offered a rather dismal prognosis for my opus-in-progress on string theory. Two publishers there are vying for the Italian language rights to the book, despite the fact that I have yet to write a word of it. Publishers in other languages such as German and French are being much more cautious. They’d prefer to see something in print before making any such commitments. That bothers me since I’ve rarely made “Freedom Fries” jokes and have long since stopped taking potshots at Germans. Still it makes me love the Italians for their sheer recklessness. Now the pressure is on me to actually deliver something. And if I do, my next stop will be the Italian Riviera, baby! Or maybe the Amalfi Coast or Sicily. Somebody’s got to reward this country for its misplaced confidence in me.