BAD TIMING (OR WHAT?) — by Steve Nadis
A friend of mine, a huge Patriots fan, made the mistake of scheduling a colonscopy for the morning of Monday, February 4, 2008. The mistake being that the Super Bowl, of course, is on the night of February 3, 2008–tonight, this being “Super Sunday”–and instead of being able to really enjoy the game, my friend will be spending most of the night running back and forth between the couch and bathroom. It’s all the consequence of two unfortunate occurrences, one being bad planning, the other having to do with being past 50. One avoidable, the other pretty much inevitable (save for some even more unfortunate occurrences). But let’s not get into that now. It’s Super Sunday — a time to stock up on beer, chips, and, at least for some of the viewing public, toilet paper. Game on!
Posted by
at
20:35:31
From my SIS, who, as she’s dealing w/ colitis for the rest of her life (’70s surgery side-effect), is an EXPERT on this pre-med routine {as it were}:
-Marco Polo
Mix the lovely drain cleaner they give you with an equal aount of a favorite soda (allowed). Have a SWEET black tea chaser (NO milk!) ready-to-go. Gulp down the swill as quickly as you can/ as much as you can before the inevitable GaG urge, then quickly follow it with the sugared tea. After things settle down, finish up the Drano cocktail & the rest of the tea.
As far as trips to the bathroom, ahhh… well…
Toilet paper restocks are a FINE idea.
WHOOPS! Forgot to add… Shake the “fizzles” out of that soda FIRST, before you mix it with the Nasty Vile from the doc’s! (I hear dark ginger-ale, 7up & Sprite are all good choices.) If a diet soda drinker- no aspartame. Use the one with Splenda. (Or stevia, if from Nat’l Food store).
“Bottom’s UP!” [bottom's down...again. :(~ ]
Thanks I’ll try to remember that mix when my # is called… –Snake