CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH: GOING HEAD TO TOE WITH BARACK OBAMA — by Steve Nadis
First John McCain released his medical records, then Barack Obama, so it seems only fitting that I should release mine (at least in part), having had my biannual physical just last week. I’ll leave McCain out of this comparison as he is a senior citizen with the numbers to show for it. But I can say that my blood pressure is very close to Obama’s. He has a slight height advantage, which is to be expected because he is taller. His weight figures are unavailable (at least to my sources) but I think it’s fair to say I’m not as skinny as him. Regarding cholesterol, I’ve got Barack beat in terms of the “good” (HDL) while he has me beat in terms of the “bad” (LDL). So I’m calling it a draw for now but ultimately we’ll have to let the delegates or superdelegates decide. I guess the main point is that I’m ready to assume office should the nation call on me.
Posted by
at
14:27:02
I am shocked and outraged that the temperature category was not considered in this competition. This is like the 2000 election all over again. Shouldn’t the votes of warm-blooded people count as much as the cool cucumbers? The undemocratic nature of this contest is contemptible!
Dear Mom — I stand corrected, and may I surmise from the tenor of your comment that I fall onto the cucumber side of the ledger? –Snake