CALL ME SNAKE

Ah, the hypocrisy of it all. Hillary Clinton has chastised Obama for the words of Jeremiah Wright, saying "he would not have been my pastor." But what happened when Bill Clinton got caught in a sex scandal some years ago, sending the family into crisis mode? According to this week's NEW YORKER, "the Clintons summomed the clergy (including, by the way, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright)."

So why was that bombshell buried within a parenthetical, when it is big news in my book? I have no idea. Personally I think it's enough to bring Hillary Clinton down because of the sheer hypocrisy--because she has been beating Obama so hard over the Wright business--while he was someone her family personally turned to in a time of P.R. need. So what's the explanation: "You can pick your pastor but not during a highly-publicized family crisis"? I'd like to see this story become front-page news, which it ought to be, given the currently ridiculous tenor of the presidential campaign.

It's Tuesday, which means it's time for (what else?) Freaky Tuesday. Yesterday I was perusing an article on Telegraph.co.uk about the mathematician Grisha Perelman who is credited with proving the Poincare conjecture by exploiting a technique known as "Ricci flow." Immediately below the Perelman article was a link to an article about another Ricci--the actress Christina Ricci. How's that for freaky?

I saw a friend walking to work today--a two-mile-plus trek from Porter Square to Kendall--and I accosted him, yelling: 'GET A CAR! GET A CAR!" I now realize I was wrong to have done so, as I completely forgot about global warming when I launched into my tirade (verbal tongue-lashing?). Sorry about that.

According to the website, ZOOMINFO.COM, I'm Vice President of Engineering for Srico Inc., a Columbus, Ohio-based concern specializing in integrated optical waveguide components. (Don't be put off by the fact that I don't know what integrated optical waveguide components are; that just means I'm overqualified.) My high-level executive position with Srico will come as news to many people who know me, none more so than myself. Every now and then I'm tempted to give up the freelance life and take a real job. Now I have a job--and apparently one with benefits--all thanks to the wonders of the internet.

A friend forwarded a note to me from a woman who'd been our housemate in 1981. Though I always thought she was nice, I didn't know her very well at the time and was pleased and surprised to hear she'd gone on to live a life of travel and adventure, even chronicling her experiences in a recently-published book. If I were to have guessed 27 years ago, I would have assumed that I'd have been the one to have traveled more. But I would have guessed wrong as she's definitely seen more of the world than I have. And she's now the wiser for it.

On the other hand, I have legitimate reasons for my sedentary lifestyle. After all, somebody's got to sit here and type idle thoughts into my computer. For if I don't do it, who will?

I recently fulfilled a longstanding ambition; I've made the list of “AIRCONDITIONING BLOGS” posted on www.airconditioningworld.com. The entry that finally got me there was called "WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY, Part 462." Here's an excerpt of that celebrated post in case you don't recall:

"You'd better just crank up your air conditioning and try to get through it," she said. Actually, it wasn't uncomfortable at all. We don't have air conditioning, and I didn't even need to turn a fan on. But she said people better turn...

So much for my latest 15 seconds of fame. I don't see how I can surpass that and am considering getting out of blogging game while I'm on top.

[Editor's note: The actual site in question is airconditioningiworld.com/. I deleted the "i" because it looked funny, but it is there. And there's probably a good reason for it--something that airconditioning insiders must know that the rest of us outsiders can only guess at...]

I have to write something about nuclear power, which used to be one of my specialties, though that was some decades ago. While surfing on Google under "nuclear power" and another keyword, I came across the following warning: "This site may harm your computer." I did not need to go to that site, as there were plenty of others I could check out. Still the warning did intrigue as I'd never seen anything like it before. What was the story of that site? Was it evil? I guess I'll never know because curious as I am, why risk it?

I never figured that Call Me Snake would morph from a volleyball blog into the fashion/glamor game, but life is funny that way; you never know what it's going to dish out. Last night I caught part of an ad as I was turning off the TV and could not believe what I was hearing was true. Later I checked it out on the web and found out that my ears had not lied. Here are quotes taken almost verbatim (with some minor embellishments, distortions, and alterations thrown in for good measure):

Introducing new Touch Of Gray™, the first and only men's hair treatment that lets you keep some gray. Works gradually. And it's easy. No mix, no mess: just comb in and rinse. It's for the generation that swore it would never get old. And didn't...
     A little gray to show your experience, but not so much that it hides your vitality. Touch Of Gray™ comes in five natural looking shades...
     It not only lets you keep some gray, it lets you decide how much gray to keep. And it works gradually...

EDITOR'S NOTE: This product, as you can imagine, has thrown me into a tizzy. Do I hide the gray? Leave it alone? Or show some of it selectively? There are choices to be made (not only in Pennsylvania)--choices about which I had been blissfully ignorant less than 12 hours ago.

During my recent trip to Chicago, I mentioned to my mother that a local girl I went to grade school and high school with had a bestselling book about how not to get old. "There's only one way not to get old," said my mother scornfully. "You shoot yourself."

School vacation is starting in a few hours and Call Me Snake is going to take a couple of days off. Happy fishin' folks. You've earned it.