PREEMPTION: FIRST, LAST, AND ALWAYS -- by Steve Nadis
I've been hearing, and reading, about Bush's new policy of preemption but had never taken the time to think it through and see what it really meant. But then my friend Dr. Max (he's not really a doctor; he just plays one on the internet) came through, as he invariably does, with a particularly trenchant comment. Responding to my previous post about President Bush ordering the bombing of the Canary Islands to stave off the avian flu--an example of "preemption," I might point out--the good doctor had this to say, perfectly encapsulating the new Bush policy: "We must bomb them over there, so they don't poop on our windshields over here." There's preemption in a nutshell. Or perhaps I should say there's preemption in a bird turd (in an homage to Robert Altman's neglected bird-turd classic, "Brewster McCloud").
The Foo bird poops purple goo. It stains everything. The oxidized paint on your car soaks it in and you cannot wash it off. Heaven forbid a drop of Foo Bird shit should land on you - It permanently stains your hair, your skin, or your clothes. The more you try to wipe it off, the further it spreads. Awful stuff. Experts agree that you should leave the spot alone until you get to a laundry where they can apply the exact stain-relieving treatments to properly remove the purple droppings.
And the moral of this story is:
If the foo shits: wear it.
Ha ha ha ha haaaa.
MsAmber (Comment this)