DOESN'T ADD UP -- by Steve Nadis
Allow me to present Exhibit A. In yesterday's Metro, a free Boston tabloid, the headline of one article read: "Higher gas prices mean modest increase in tourism." The caption, a mere 1/2-inches above that line, read: "Faneuil Hall Marketplace and other Boston attractions may see fewer tourists this year." Yet if, as the article plainly states (in the very first sentence) that Massachusetts expects to see a "modest increase in tourism," why do they--in the same breath, as it were--insist on speaking of "fewer tourists"?
Shall we proceed to Exhibit B? (I'll meet you in the foyer.) An article in last week's Harvard University newspaper claimed that the naturalist E.O. Wilson is "optimistic about life on Earth." Yet a photo caption, again only about an inch away, says that Wilson sees the 21st century as "a time when humans will celebrate and preserve biodiversity, or wreck life on Earth." If that passes for optimism these days, then call me (an avowed skeptic) an optimist. And when you're done calling me an optimist, Call Me Snake.


In the Bush administration, traditional logic has been replaced with XOR logic, meaning everything gets flipped to its opposite. "Increase" now means "decrease"; "decrease" means "escalate". A "peace dividend" means world-wide hatred, "national security" means constant surveillance, "diplomacy" means "unilateral action", "liberation" means "occupation", and "taking responsibility" means "paying lip service".
Once you understand this, a lot of contradictions suddenly make perfect sense. Also, you realize that being President takes no effort at all. (Comment this)